Marriage y "La Familia"

     The purpose of marriage, in my mind, is to build a strong tie between two people.  A spouse is someone with whom to share your life. This view may be romanticized and somewhat unrealistic, especially since my parents are divorced (one being divorced twice).  However, watching what my parents have gone through has made me examine the meaning of marriage - and I have decided that marriage should be something about which both spouses are VERY sure.   

     Having divorced parents has also made my definition of a "normal" family stretch.  Personally, I have seen family include everything from a mother and two kids, to the all-American "nuclear family", to a large extended family that includes seven sets of aunts and uncles and twenty-five cousins.  But the loose definition that I assign to my family does not negate the importance of family in my life. All through growing up my family has played an integral part in my life, and I know it will continue to do so.

     In some ways, this is similar to the views expressed about kin in the article 'Family and Kinship in Village India' by David W. McCurdy.  Although no one I know in my family has been involved in an arranged marriage, those in my family do frequently consult other members (even from the extended family) in making important decisions.  A huge difference that I noticed from the readings and the movie concerned new family members being added.  In both the article 'Uterine Families and the Women's Community' by Margery Wolf and the movie about the Masai, new brides were treated with disdain by those in her new family, especially by the other women.  In all of my family, new additions are generally welcomed warmly.

    I was a little surprised by the way that other cultures view sexuality, marriage, and family. It is interesting to me that many Americans view sexuality in a more strict "one-or-the-other" sense, while some other cultures take a more open interpretation. Also, I re-learned that Americans have much less structure in the way of marriage rituals, custom's, etc, than can be found in other parts of the world.  These are aspects that I had known about before, but that are easy to overlook or forget.